Communication & Love

Dear Wife

One thing that I have understood loud and clear is that talking is not communicating. We think something in the mind and we use the words that we feel is appropriate to express that thought. But have you ever thought that those words have opposite meaning to the listener ?

It looks to be true when I analyse this in more detail.

Let me give a simple example – A typical wife might define love as a feeling of having her desires met by being emotionally connecting and feeling cared. In short expectation is to put wife’s needs and wants before partners. For a husband the definition of love could be giving you freedom to do what you want without interfering and treating you as an equal rights  partner.

If you analyse this in detail both have opposite meaning to each other. wife would feel lonely and let down and husband would feel suffocated in this relationship.

Unfortunately there is no global definition of love that would give same understanding to everyone. For that matter none of the words have same interpretation by two people.

So generally couples continue to talk, shout and go into unconscious behaviors without understanding that they are not talking the same language with each other. They do not communicate. They create a negative charge by just talking. This negative charge builds up and might ignite with an unexpected small spark.

I have analysed various words like respect, maturity, happiness and each has opposite meaning to us. When most common words have opposite meaning what would a sentence mean to the other.  It is impossible to comprehend a common meaning unless we sit and decipher every word in the context of each other.   Even if you see the Cambridge dictionary it gives multiple subjective meaning for the same word.

You cannot put on others shoe and understand because the language and interpretation are totally different unless you replace the brain.

If you read spiritual texts, definition of love is more closer to freedom. This is a hard to accept definition until you understand what is love. Love is not classified as an emotion.

Love should not be demanding. Demanding is very easy. Love is acceptance of someone as they are. You need a very big heart to accept unconditionally without any expectations. That heart is love.

With love

 

 

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