Need and Desire

Life becomes too complex and unhappiness creeps in when we are stagnated waiting in life on a desire. Maslow’s hierarchy  which is a motivation theory,  has 8 levels  which gives you perfect answer to what is long-term happiness. In summary the more higher you strive to move in the hierarchy, more happy you will be naturally. The word naturally is important here and has very deep meaning to it. However majority of the population are stuck in lower levels with a huge list of needs & desires waiting for the world to change.

First two levels are basic needs or physiological need. These are things that you cannot live without (Food, shelter, Clothing , safety, and security). You might even steal or cheat to satisfy those basic needs if not met. Continue reading



Dear Wife,

I have spoken to you many times about negativity. I want to explain  what is negativity and how it wrecks your body. Emotions are energised thoughts.

Emotion = Thoughts + Energy.

It can be used constructively as well as destructively.

We base our life on our desires. When a desire is not fulfilled and if mind interprets it negatively then it generates negative emotions. Anger, Fear, Greed, Jealousy, Guilt, Sadness, Anxiety etc are negative in nature.

  •  Anger – Feeling that you get when there is an obstacle to our desire
  •  Jealous – If we have/ dont have something that we desire and someone else has little more of it
  •  Sadness – If we loose something that we desire
  •  Guilt – Desiring or doing something against your moral

Desire is necessary for life but not compulsory. Desire should not become a need. This is where ego takes control of your thoughts. Ego will generate noise in your head like – I am the most unlucky person in this world or why should it happen to me always. You may start thinking that  he does not care for me because, He is not fulfilling my asks. Your mind takes that as a conclusion. If you give importance to these thoughts you are energising your thoughts.

If you get what you desired or if you do not consider that important your brain forces production of what is called happy hormone – serotonin and dopamine. This is sent into your blood stream. Any organ on receipt of this happy hormone relaxes itself. You feel a sense of happiness and achievement. Body works at its best optimum levels. This is what is human body is built for.

If you do not get what you desire and if your mind interprets it as a compulsive need not met – brian forces adrenal glands to generate hormones called cortisol and adrenaline also known as stress hormones. When this reaches your body parts through bloodstream they become rigid, alert, makes muscle stiff ready to fight. Your fight or flight mode is switched on.

For the body to be prepared for fight or flight it does various things when it sees cortisol

  • It releases a gush of glucose into blood stream, preparing energy for fight or flight
  • Suppresses immune system and diverts resources
  • Activates sympathetic nervous system which in turn suppresses digestion and food absorption as it has higher priority work to do
  • Constricts blood vessels and increases blood pressure preparing for delivery of higher dose of Oxygen for fighting or flying.

In Summary, your body starts working in a emergency mode. As long as the episode is short ( for Eg you will be sad when you loose a loved one ) you come out of it. But if this thought continues for days, months and years together then your body is always on emergency mode. Your body  is not made for that. It cannot focus on fighting bacteria and virus. It continues to remain alert every second. Muscles are stiff all the time. Lot of energy is spent on keeping the body running in this mode. Obviously you will fall sick easily. You will get spinal pains, cramps, knee aches when your muscles refuse to relax. You will feel tired more easily. This is depression. You will start depending on synthetic forms of serotonin and dopamine  that psychologists prescribe.

This is self harm. You poison your body yourself. You harm it with every negative thought.  This will lead to vicious circle of generating more negative thoughts.

To say that I do not meet your desires is like saying “I will only love the person who meets my desires”.

When desire becomes need and need becomes important than a being, love will die.

With Love,