Today I was watching my little son play with a foot ball. It did not have much air and it was damaged by being left out in all types of weather. But for a 2 year old boy it did  not matter. It looked round. It could bounce, which meant all the definitions of a ball met for him. It kept him occupied for a long time.

For a mind with no or mild ego state it was a perfect ball that can be played with. It could not find any fault with it. If ego is taken out of your mind, most of the things in the world would  be perfect as it is.  Looking for perfection is the work of ego. It will create a lot of mental noise. Each human being have something unique in them. Our job is to find and make the best use of  that uniqueness and not to exploit what we are not meant for.

If we look at our own imperfections, we create negative self judgment. It will take your confidence  away.  If we judge others imperfections, we  will try to change them. It will take your happiness away. If you are being mindful you will notice that these imperfections don’t really matter anyway, and to be human is to be imperfect. Perfection is the job of the super power.

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” – Leo Tolstoy


Self Awareness

Dear Wife,

Self awareness or conscious living or mindfulness is the first step in personality development. Today I want to tell you how this small tiny but difficult step can help you get the best out of the world out there.

Self awareness is a process of just being aware of what you are doing, what you are thinking and what you are feeling. All it does is re validates your action with your intellect  and rather than ego mind which normally takes control of you during unconscious behavior. Mind in you has this part called Ego Mind or Negative mind. Its intended job is to police  your thoughts by being a devils advocate. It activates and keeps feeding negative information to your mind.  If you just  ignore it, it will shut itself up. But if you give importance to those thoughts, it will rule you. It will pull you down. It will take you to a world of suffering.

Just being aware of this happening will significantly reduce the influence of your ego mind.

You might get angry when you see an obstacle to your desire. Just become aware of your anger. Realise that it is your ego mind that is wanting you to get angry fighting for that desire. Believe that there are other creative ways to solve that problem. If you think out of the box you might find amazing ways to solve it.  Your intellect mind is made for this creative thinking.

We go into unconscious state of living and reacting to situations again and again like we normally used to do. Why not try this for a week ?

Being is just changing the way you think.



Dear Wife,

Buddha beautifully talks about Anger as “Drinking poison and expecting other person to die”. It is one of the three poisons that Buddha talks about. Anger is best example of negative emotion which can never solve any problem but every day we use it to solve problems. It creates an illusion of having power and gives comfort of solving. If fed with more thoughts, all that it is capable of doing is to grow many other supporting negative emotions like resentment, frustration and hatred. If the receiver of anger is not conscious it will agitate them too.

Anger stems from your mental personal assessment of situation and making assumptions, evaluations, judgments or interpretations of situations. Anger is caused  by an obstacle to your desire. The level of anger is directly proportional to your level of desire. It makes you think that someone else is attempting to hurt you or by not responding the way that you want them to respond to.

Anger is a temporary solution for mind and ego. You don’t need to face the person you are angry with until they respond or you expect them solve the cause of your anger. It is ego’s way of making you feel rightful and get you a feeling of superiority by shifting the ownership of problem.

There can never be a rightful anger. However we as human beings it is impossible not to use this as self defense tool. But if you just become aware of anger and just tell yourself “Oh I am feeling angry. Anger wont solve the problem” next time when you see yourself angry, it will go away. Ego will need the anger to survive. It will try to convince you that what you are doing is right. If you give importance to ego mind it will become the poison that Buddha said.

Remember that best fighter is never angry. I am not saying not to fight for your rights. But never use anger to fight.

With Love,